Tribute To Granpa

Mummy sent me an sms, telling me to write an eulogy for my maternal grand father who passed on in the first week of September. I was blank and I'm still quite blank bout what to say bout him. I'm not really good with elderly people but my grandfather is the only one I've been able to get along with. Not like we always spent time together or really did big things together but there was this aura that made me feel drawn to him in love. Maybe it was the fact that he featured in the stories of my mother's histories and there were quite a number of stories. Or maybe the mystery of the eventuality of the stories of the characters in my mother's stories of her history. I know his name to be Zaccheaus Fagbohungbe, I knew him to be gentle and patient though the stories painted him a no nonsense father of his age and time. I knew him for his wits and humor that I found quite intriguing for an old man, and the way he got conversations going with keen interest showed how much he cared to be a part of the lives God placed around him and blessed him with. I remember how he kept in touch with his children, just in case they had forgotten him he did not forget them and always still accepted them, no matter how they were, whether or not they were taking the right steps or making the right decisions he didn't reject them but accepted them in love, correcting them if they would have him do and giving them room to make their own mistakes and grow, and when they came back once bitten and twice shy, he never says "I told you so!" That's a Father. Now, my heart sober and eyes close to tears, I recall his laughter, I admired it and the fact that he was a good patient teacher, who liked to teach people, how to do little things paying attention to the details. My moment with Grandpa was the day I resumed at my second secondary school as a transfer  and new student in my JSS 2 some few years back. Personally that was a moment of a turn around change for me as I was going through some things emotionally and not so prepared for it all. Grandpa was there, grandma and my mother too as I was being checked in as a new student and said farewell to the only family I had physically present, with his presence I was reminded that I was not alone and he wished me the best, he loved and did care about me having to deal with change, no matter what kind. No wonder there was something about him I may not be able to place my hands on but keeps making me love him and it keeps the memory lingering. Grandpa, I know you died desiring more love and affection than you got from the ones you love the most, your refusal to deny yourself or your love would keep me in the fight to keep loving and treating others the way I believe is right no matter how they treat me. I wish you could still be here with us to see me make you proud, I love you and would keep these few memories of you praying that I use them make other lives better. Goodnight Grandpa.

SOS!

Is there a book like "blogging for dummies"?!
Cause I'm almost freaking out here!!. Sorry! Okay! Maybe I should watch my tongue. I'm not freaking out but since I started this blog and I had 3 members, it has remained like that for months. It's annoying that it seems like I don't understand the rudiments of social networking b/c I can't seem to draw attention on facebook, twitter or this blog. What am I doing wrong? what am I to do more rightly? I'm not jealous but the blogs I follow have a lot of followers and no one is complaining about any difficulties in joining those blogs. This isn't a pity party, it's SOS now! Please join this blog and post comments on what would help, wld be grateful. Thanks.

To trust and to hold

"I can't believe those words just dropped out of her mouth!"
"What does she take me for?!"
"This is someone I should be able to rely on and talk to, she does not even  trust me nor knows what I'm capable of. It's sad."

Sometimes we get dashed by the people we've been a little bit or very vulnerable with and had our courage thrown right back into our faces. We feel betrayed, less secure, sold to the enemy, bitter and disappointed.

Trust is not easily gained but it is easily lost. Trust is innate yet learned. Trust is an interactive trait, it has a two way direction.

I wish I could tell you why I'm talking bout trust, but I know to gain trust is a joyful priviledge, while to give trust is a risk. Life is being made beautiful and our experiences meaningful by the mixture of the bitter and sweet.

And what convinces us that we are worthy of our trusts ourselves?

We betray ourselves, sell ourselves to our detriment, do things we would not normally do and give our trusts to other people not worthy. Most times we are not any better than the ones who betray us.

May not really know the drive for this, but I think some points to brood on about trust have been laid. I'm not leading anyone to a particular perspective or philosophy of trust, I'm just expressing the thoughts flowing through my head now. I draw the curtains with this;

We may not have control over the trust we give,
But we do have a responsibility to guard the trust we do receive.

This is a poem but I don't know what title to give it

I don't know, but I have to ask why!
Would truth, love and freedom pass her by.
Why deny her freedom and tell her lies?
Because you can't stand her greatness when she flies.
She's a marvel and to be adored.
She may not see it or know it but deserves the truth be told.
The truth! The truth that produces a good fruit.
Seed of truth in her fertile and fragile heart.
A creation wired to trust and take every seed her truth.
You lie! You deny! You deprive and you smile!
Mocking her innocence you make, lies the truth, and as her truth you tell her to take.
Yes she believes cause for to trust she has been wired.
Then you get irritated she's been wired to faith.
It beats you, you can't explain what lies beneath.
Gullible! Dumb! You call her names.
Demean, abuse and reduce her aims.
Is she faulty for being created woman?
Created with so much uniqueness by a God of wonder?
Created to faith and created to love?
Created with a heart close to God's heart?
Created to give life and to nuture?
Created to hope for a better future?
Where is she faulty?
Tell me!That she deserves to be treated thus?
Man praised her before he called her 'woman'.
In her eyes you see her desire
For the truth to make her free as she aspires.
Give her the truth,
She deserves it from you.

today's Number

Wonderful day here, it's the day I was born some few years back. Thinking bout how far I' ve gone and what I've done. Surely I do have reasons to thank my Heavenly father for his unimaginable love. Started something when I was in SS2, checking myself and my advancement from my previous year to the coming new year to see if I could achieve new things 3 months count down to my birthday. Used to be fun, I don't do it consciously anymore. Numbering our days is one thing the psalmist desired. Well like someone said it's not about counting our days, it's bout making each day count. ADEYINKA Happy Birthday to you

I see me as He sees me

Was chatting this morning with roomie as we went through her pictures together. She mentioned someting about trying to be a tomboy at a point because she felt she was not pretty (you need to see her eyes). I found some similarity between the both of us cos I went through the same thing. Early teenage years were hard on me and self-esteem. I changed school and retreated to a very introverted shell, hid my potentials, was secretive (though others could share with me), I was never really convinced that I was beautiful cos I wasn't treated favourably, wasn't really in vogue, classmates made fun of me, my peers didn't really roll with me cos I wasn't a big girl, no boy openly admitted that he liked me and so on. I had a handful, you can say that again.
But here am I today *singing* 'So I'm over it noooow, over it now, I can't say how but I'm over it.' But I think I can say how. It was God's immeasurable love for me that transformed the way I see myself. I now see myself the way He sees me. And I've decided to stick with his view because it's not a make believe but the truth cos he created me and was pleased with what He did. Now, I walk with my head high, dress and appear with confidence, and can say "I'm fly"

Love is only God-possible (2)

In the last post I was talking bout my devotional encounter and how reading 1Cor 13 in the Bible broke my walls by God's revelation of the word. The whole chapter made more than sense and I resolved to deep conviction that if I'd say an "I love you" to someone I do love, it would mean 'I' 'God' 'you' (to me). Meaning we are a threefold cord that is not easily broken Eccl5:12. It means it is not possible to love without God, because that's who He is, God is love. I thought about the wonderful gift of prophecy in the context of how it was potrayed in the old testament of the Bible with prophets like Elijah, Elisha, Isaiah and the rest, how they were always in the spirit and fine tuned to God and how God showed them the future, his will and always honoured their words. But this chapter says all that experience would be useless without love. Faith and giving are equally useless without love. So love is indeed selfless by not DEMANDING its own way, it is not irritable and doesn't keep a record book for wrongdoing. The verse that penetrated the most was verse 7 saying love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. And all fingers are pointing to God. God who created me in faith that I fulfill His purpose for me and bring Him pleasure, never gives up on me, always hopes, endures every circumstance that doesn't please Him in my life, even when I had not loved him at all or been faithful at loving Him. Love is who God is.
Now this is my point today
Keeping up with someone who is unyielding and unlovable isn't easy talkless of loving that person. You may think it's easy to love if the person is responsive, but when changes come, circumstances storm, and all that lovely personality is gone, then it dawns that 'Love is only God-possible'. But I'm not waiting till I get to that point I'm starting with God from the beginning. What about you?

Love Is Only God-possible

Been having issues with being on really good terrms with a particular person in my life and family though I'm not the only one with the issues.

But during the 2 months strike break my school had from February till April (like every break period I've always had as far as I can recall) I received complaints about my attitude to my family members, who were older than I was, almost every time.

It got me thinking sometimes if I was the only one with the problem or wasn't it attributed to the other parties. Sometimes, I'm really at fault, but some other times they are overreacting cause their minds are default thinking I'm getting at them. It's irritating and annoying, but I guess that would soon change when they fully realise they can't be pushing me around and demanding respect but would look forward to earning my respect.

 Anyways, I was reading through 1 Corinthians 13 "The Love chapter" afterwards I was broken before God unknowingly, laying the burden at His feet and asking for help to manifest His work of perfection in me.

Fortunately for me and unfortunately for my pride I was reading the NLT (New Living Translation) version that was doing a good job driving the message home, breaking me and crumbling my walls of defense, I was effortlessly shedding tears that meant a purging process was going on in me and God still cared enough to correct me.

Funnily, God had shown me this before, but the cares of life had choked up that seed sown, now He was giving me another chance at it.

God you're the best *mwah*. I just love moments like this in God, like someone said there's never a dull moment in God. I'd share the rest of this one in the next post.  

Catcha

An introduction to me.

My name is Adeyinka Adefemi. Well, I decided to start in a conventional way. So I'm a Nigerian female who can't but live the extra ordinary life. My priority is putting a smile on God's face now and always, and I've no apologies or regrets. I love the life God gave me and the people He put in it. I may not look like it right now but I really do not have any other choice than to become it. I love being creative, being of support, being real and making a difference. So you're welcome to my world and I hope you enjoy it. Catcha!