Church Vs The Fashionista: The Fear of Being Preached At

One Friday afternoon, after I was done with a meeting with the Charity organization I was a member on campus, I was headed for my room, I met one of my friends *Shina, who used to attend my Christian fellowship once upon a time. My phone’s battering was running down and I didn’t want it to automatically power off soon but I didn’t mind sacrificing time to inquire of his welfare, at least he wasn’t on the run to another lecture this time.

 So, how was he doing? Sometime ago, he told me he was busy in Lagos with the fashion industry, so he wasn’t always around for Sunday services in my fellowship and had to attend another that held their meeting in the evening if he did at all. Now, he was less busy but wasn’t attending any Church. To get the reason why, I had to press further. So he said it was because he wanted to avoid being criticized for his dress sense.

Let me paint a picture of his appearance. His hair is dyed gold (Or is it blonde?) with brown, bluish-green contact lenses, pencil jeans, bogus footwear and any other thing that’s fad. Not so conventional for naija right? But he didn’t want to be judge by the way he dressed, he said “I don’t know why people would see me and say I can’t be Christian because of the way I dress, I’m into fashion and I do dress like it.” (I paraphrased)

His fashion sense may even make you question his sexual orientation. At least I have, in my thoughts, and not had enough nerve to confront that aspect.

I believe *Shina is not the last of his kind in Church; I believe you do see people who you think their fashion sense is kind of overboard in Church.

Does dressing what’s in vogue have anything to do with your spirituality?

Should we preach at people like this in Church?

Should they resort to Home Chapel like *Shina has?

Should we throw them out of the flock so they won’t pollute it?

Should they change their dress sense to at least please the Church?

What would Jesus do?

These are the thoughts that went through my head after I had parted ways with *Shina. I seem to consider both sides, that is the church and fashionistas like *Shina and I’m not sure whose attitude I totally support.

Your view on this is highly appreciated. You could help someone get it right.

 *Shina is used to protect the identity of my friend.

Children's Day? :-(

"After we had rehearsed that verse repeatedly they were singing it like they were intoxicated or something. I was pissed and yes I felt like whipping all of them."

We were supposed to gather for the last rehearsal more like 'touching up', A parent walked up to me and accused me of not allowing her son to participate in the choir, saying he said so. Finding out who her son was I told her he could not join contrary to the claim that he knew the song, because he was not present for the rehearsal and we had changed the song.

Even if we had not changed the song, I wouldn't have allowed him join them. I 
wonder what value system parents are teaching their wards. Or are they still leaving the responsibility to the teachers both in school and church to train their wards morally? Why are some parents so lazy to do what's right and be examples to their children, they don't teach them commitment, discipline and obedience amongst other virtues and they expect them to get good results, to be seen in the front line, and to be praised?!

More than half of them came late to church. We ministered our song, they sang the song like they just heard it for the first time, missed the beats, notes, tempo, just name it. After service and the celebration, I had a word with them and trust me I didn't pat them on the back.

I believe in them, and I won't leave them to lazily allow God's greatness in them rot. I'm going to keep them on their toes.

I so much anticipated for how this day would turn out, but it turned out to be disappointing.

I hope you don't think I'm evil, I just can't settle with their mediocrity.

This is not a poem!

We choose to love

 Love may be a commandment, but we choose to obey

We can’t live or walk in love if we do not choose

We choose to be hurt and to remain hurt

We choose to forgive and remember no more

If we feel forced to love we have not yet made our choice

God is not obliged to love us but he does because he chose

To forgive, forget and love.

Now I understand that for you to live in harmony with even those you love

You have to choose to love.

The 11 Question Tag

“Cee, I’m taking your advice to really take a deep breath before embarking on this task” *Deep Sigh* I must confess I don’t know what to say or how to say what I may have to say, I’d try anyway (Omo mehn, see rhymes). So this is a game (I think) that my lovely friend tagged me in, to play and I must say “Cee, I’d be doing a lot of follow follow”. So I’d write the rules for the sake of those who would get tagged by me *mischievous look * It’s no revenge I just want to ta e lofa 11 questions tag (You have to understand Yoruba to get that). Thanks for tagging me Cee, I guess it’ll be fun. So let’s go!

THE RULES

*Post the rules.* You must post 11 random things about yourself*Answer the questions that your tagger posted for you* Ask your 11 questions, then choose 11 people and tag them to answer your questions*Remember to let them know you tagged them*No tag backs…*Let the tagger know when you’ve answered their questions*

11 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME *COVERING EYES WITH ONE HAND*

1. I don’t know my height or weight precisely

2. I like fabulous and decent fashion but do not have much of what could make that kind of fashion sense.

3. I think I like a little of everything, so my interests really go wide.

4. I hate being called the ‘baby of the house’.

5. I like to analyse (I won’t say criticize) creativity, so I’ve got the hots for creativity in quite a number of areas.

6. I love seeing my reflection, it still thrills me and I could be best singer, dancer, actress, speaker…you name it …right in front of MY mirror.

7. It beats me that I’m quite talkative though I don’t have a good command of words to express myself. I love talking to myself the most and I enjoy every bit of it.

8. I don’t have any favourite food or colour but when it comes to clothing, I kinda have the HOTS for grey/ash. Beats me and I don’t think I’m proud about it.

9. I may easily like a guy but it will pass.

10. I love having fun, but I don’t and I’m scared I’d lose my ‘fun know-how’

11. I just realised I was a ‘Mel’ about a month ago, (Imagine! And I’m a psychologist in making) and was shocked some people thought so too. Didn’t think I was that introverted, though I know I’m very introspective. I love it anyway.

They are random and eleven so that’s it. Was tempted to tell you all I know about me.

11 QUESTIONS FROM ‘Cee’

1. What do you do in your spare time?

# Don’t really have spare time now because I really can’t differentiate what’s work or not

2. What one thing are you most proud of?

# What I see when I look in the mirror.

3. What is your ultimate dream vacation?

# Hmmmn… (Hard one) but Maldives, it’s being hyped to take my breath away so I’d like that one with HIM

4. What are you most looking forward to in the next year?

# I don’t know if I’m sad it is not marriage but starting graduate school hopefully

5. Most important thing you are saving up for?

# Truthfully, I’m not saving money up for anything

6. Have you ever rescued someone? What were the circumstances?

# Trying to jug my memory for that one…it’s not forthcoming…but it’s certainly positive

7. Who influenced you the most when you were a child?

# Mummy

8. Who influences you the most now?

# God

9. What is the most daring or dangerous thing you’ve ever done?

# Daring: Waking one morning, cutting my hair

10. What person in history would you most like to meet?

# Lincoln or Einstein

11. What would you love for your next birthday gift? (I just might surprise you ;)

# This is the best part. I want to own a building I’ve been eyeing on Ring road Ibadan

Mjady’s 11 QUESTIONS *DRUMMING MY TEN FINGERS AGAINST EACH OTHER*

1. Where is the place you get most inspired?

2. Who is your mentor?

3. What comes to your head when you think Ibadan (Western Nigeria)?

4. What was the last silly thing you did?

5. How old are you?

6. What passes as indulgence for you?

7. What happened the last time you prayed for a miracle?

8. What was your most embarrassing moment?

9. Describe an outfit you’d love to appear in?

10. Can you recall the name of your first crush?

11. Are you reconciled to God through Jesus Christ?

Now, who am I tagging?

SkillFullyCrafTed

Koye's Blog

*Light-A-Lamp

ade adefemi

Memoirs of a Note-Taker

Loulette's Lounge

Power, Love and a Sound mind

triballane

Chukky, Naija girl with dimples....

OWKIES! That's it. Yeah...I know they are not up to eleven, but for other bloggers who had tagged more than eleven, add their excess to mine, don't worry it would soon be complete.

Thanks for stopping by and those I tagged had better answer quick! Cheers!

Glory Sun

Trying to get my poetic side back, didn't tell you I used to write poems when I was way younger. Wish me the best on this journey.

Blazing glory, the morning sun
Reminds me of the day of salvation
How beautiful it is to watch you, tame
We feel uncomfortable when you brag about your fame
Nobody loves the scorching sun
It would make our skin and eyes burn
You don't know how much hope and healing you give
When you arrive or when you are about to leave.
Mjady

One musing like that.

One of my musings, but I thought of it as a poem. It is not literal, so don't take what you read literally. Funny I wrote it on Easter Sunday, and it was a guy that made me write it.Mind you I don't hate guys, in case someone may feel I'm attacking guys again.I like moments like this sometimes, cause they bring out the poetic me. This was before the Naked? Ashamed? post. Don't know what title to give it, guess I'm not good with that.So here it goes


I just tried stripping
Something really hard for me to do
I really like my clothes on
So if someone wants me to strip
They must be ready to do same
Just took some clothes off
And you stand there staring
Telling me 'Sorry, I can't strip in front of anyone, if I don't know what they look like naked'
I feel violated
This is not fair
I just tried getting used to being naked
Now, I'm divided on the choice of having clothes on.
Mjady
8th April

My Day Was...

Don’t really know what woke me from my sleep this morning, but after I decided to finally get up for the day after stirring awhile in my bed, I check my phone’s screen for the time thinking, we should get a wall clock for our room, it was 7:30. Rella had not started her morning exercise of chasing the chickens this morning I wonder why…oh! That’s what made me get up, having to save the poor hen and her chicks that would be out first in search of food from the claws? No, not claws but weight of an overzealous dog. Yeah! She puts them under her weight when she finally catches them and they don’t survive it, she can’t even bite the tiniest skin off their flesh and she has killed about five of them in last month. So I hurry to get the dog ‘I don’t know what to do with’ into her cage. Opening the door, I meet her lying down with her forelimbs crossed waiting for one of us to come open it. She’s like ‘Here she is’ and gets up to greet me, I get a stick to ward her off telling her I’m not in for ‘jump on me’ greeting style this morning. She grabs, lowers her head and heads towards her house, she’s beginning to like the routine, and she knows what to do but would prefer my participation. So she wriggles through the cage door she ate up all by herself. “Come, come out” she obeys, I open what’s left of the door which is the frame, point to her new ‘project for freedom’ which is the big wooden table used to block the entrance to her cage she had started eating the legs on a mission to eat the whole table. I pointed to her damage with the stick in my hand and rebuked her for it, she ran inside. I repeated myself over again and she repeated herself too. She gave me that look ‘I know I’ve been naughty’ as she sat like a really obedient dog and I closed her in. she’s just good at being cute. I release the remaining chickens, ever vibrant in the morning. I move on to the shop, opened the gate and the shop, got the hoe to clear the weeds growing around, baba iseyin’s charges are too high. Set up the goods in front of the shop for display, none of the other shops on the street were open yet their owners and managers hadn’t come. Cleared the little bush I could, after sweating an amount, I’m leaving the rest for next time. While setting the shop I called customer care of my network provider to complain about being inhibited from browsing the internet on my phone and was given a simple solution that worked after I got through. I get some change to get toothpaste that had finished, missing mummy’s role for getting the toiletries in bulk or in advance so things like this don’t happen. Got back and freshened up, today’s day three. I slip into the lady gaga like jacket we used to celebrate the end of Bsc by my class, don’t know what my motivation was. Stayed mostly indoors listening to Papa’s message, tweeting, typing, eating, stealing glances at AfMag because of Sta Kunbi who’s watching it, answering calls by customers till I got tired of having to run from the living room to the shop so I transferred to the shop. Sales weren’t much, enjoyed soaking garri with chilled water, enough sugar and fried fish, it was like a delicacy. I continued typing got tired and continued with the concluding part of the trilogy I’ve been reading for a while, finished it and wasn’t excited or really satisfied with the end. Sta Kunbi went to blend the pepper and told me to cut fresh vegetables for dinner. I cut the vegetables after I was done with the book; my spirit was lifted as I sang while I attended to sorting the vegetables. I packed all the goods back in when I was done with the veggies, was conscious of what passers-by thought about my gaga jacket as I looked for their facial expressions. Closed the shop and went back in still in high spirits, joined my sister’s preparation for dinner. Called my sister-in-law and her husband to check on them, they seem to forget so I have to remind them to care. NEPA had done what they knew best to do and I don’t think they planned to return it while we were still awake today. It was getting dark and I wanted to light the lantern, it happened as I tried to remove the glass, I don’t know how it slipped; all I know is that it just shattered and scattered as it landed on the floor. Sta kunbi didn’t even act like a housefly passed, I got the broom and packer to clear it up, and she shook her feet so I can sweep what may have reached her side, no sorry, nothing. Then she took the washed and cut vegetables and said glass might be in it, she spotted one piece and I scanned for another. Then she said “WE might have to wash it again” I stretched the colander to her immediately “Kini? You can’t wash it ni?” That was it! She succeeded at washing down my enthusiasm today. She’s not my favourite sibling at all and not close to it. I didn’t say a word, but I was put off and prepared to sulk if she wanted to insist on anything else. I washed the veggies again and there was glass in it indeed. I left the rewashed in the colander and everything else. I’m done with this! I’m not liking this, my sister is quite annoying. I leave for the dinning where my laptop was, pressed the ‘on’ button and started typing how my day went, got my dinner as Sta Kunbi prepared the efo riro without complaining and was eating opposite me now. Sometimes I think she’s purposely trying to get at me. The little battery left had died so I closed the laptop lid and ate my food. Done with eating, I did my dishes and saw the ceramic bowl I used for garri and had forgotten to wash, picked it, something crawled over my hand and the bowl flew out of my hand as I reacted in fear and it shattered as it hit the floor this time injuring my big toe, not a sound from my sister, I decided not to say anything too. Cleared it up, got my things from the living room and went in to sleep for the night after taking a shower. Because I don’t know what one word to use to describe my day, this was how my day went. How was your day?

Turn The Lights on,Let's Talk about Sex.

Up late because I'm browsing, being nocturnal comes easy. At a point I turn on the online radio and tune to a local radio that I had always loved from childhood, the one that gives me nostalgia the most. And you know it's late in the night and the programs airing have to do with matters of the heart kind of thingy, relationships and all the things involved. So the radio presenter is discussing about differentiating sex and love making. I was glad when she said that what she was saying was meant to be practiced in the confines of marriage, thank God! Some radio personality somewhere is promoting proper lovemaking in the right context. So people have been calling in and they've all been men. And I've been wondering if there would be any female caller on this program. Listening to the view of some of them, it's quite clear that men are quite difficult to redeem (Forgive me). They have reduced love making to sex and almost nothing can convince them that it should be only in the confines of a marital union. This takes me back to remember one of my friends whom I was gisting with (and you know how gist is now), when he said it I just didn't know what to do. Not verbatim but he said "Sex is like a physical exercise that should be done at least once a week...How would I not have sex in a week?!" Is this how this beautiful gift from God has been reduced? Please are we hiding from the fact that majority of people, even in the church, don't believe that sex is not meant for the unmarried. Are we hiding from talking about our stand on sex more openly? And making assumptions that they should know the truth? Yaay! I think I hear the husky voice of the first female caller who had woken from her sleep probably because of the show, but she doesn't even recall what she wants to say *scoffs* As I was saying...It also reminds me of having a few friends over and one of them (a guy) throws a question which one would we all prefer, to have our kids before marriage or to get married, wait a while before having kids? My answer would have been 'Are you considering the first at all? But the other guy just did me a favour by giving a quick answer about marriage being honourable with the bed undefiled. Perfect answer? You can say that again. More men have been calling in and been saying the truth that is to be told and I'm glad. But I'd like to ask why? Why lovemaking has been made reduced to nothing but another activity to subdue the other partner? Are we putting the issues about the act in and out of marriage under proper examination light? Are married couples open enough about the challenges they face in lovemaking in order to build their marriages? What's your take on this? Oh! A woman is calling, but her call is changing the direction of this program, it's a serious issue she's facing right now. I'm done here. Don't forget to leave your comments. I'm off to sleep.

FASHION IN CHURCH

The way of life characteristic of a particular person, group or culture is a lifestyle. Strange I’m starting this write up this way, but you would get to understand why as you read on. Scanning through service and studying by observation what different people wear to church and what does their appearance show to those observing like me. (Don’t get me wrong, I don’t go to church to assess other peoples’ dress sense, but for once let’s just take a look at it). It goes from shabby, to fashion faux pas, the ‘okays’ then the fashionistas. All of these categories have both decent and indecent dressers. Less I forget there is another category and that is what I call the ‘Glory glow’. You know, there are some people you see in church and you feel like saying “Oh, Sister you look glorious” and you mean what you said even if you don’t know them. Yeah! That’s because something beyond their dress sense that makes them appear appealing.

When the controversy of how people dress to church comes up, we hear statements like ‘God is not looking at the outward appearance but is looking at the heart.’ Yeah, that’s true because God himself said so in 1 Samuel 16:7 and he said it to Samuel himself when Samuel wanted to anoint one of Jesse’s son. So when you stand in front of that mirror (That’s if you stand before one) dressing for church, what’s on your mind? It’s not a pity most issues like this place emphasis on the female gender; it is how our maker wired us. What do you think of when dressing to church? How to show all eyes at the day’s service that you rock? It’s a holy day and you should not offend the eyes that are officiated to scout for offenders of the dress codes and conduct of the church, or you just have to look shabby because you think it enhances your humility before God.

Your dressing actually reflects some part or even the whole of your lifestyle. It reflects your heart and the kind of person you are. It says whether you are an open, straightforward, cunning, liar, double minded, honest or down-to-earth person. Most people dress to church like it is only on Sundays that God sees what they wear or it is only in the church premises that God sees what they wear. Talk about heart issues. Is that what you think it is? I’m not talking about what we are told to or not to wear in church, I’m talking about our lifestyle as Christians. Being a Christian is not about dos and don’ts being a Christian is a lifestyle that reflects Christ in us. When you dress what goes on in your mind? Do you see yourself as a cast away, a slave or as one loved by the almighty Father? Do you see yourself as one not worthy of the Father’s love and appear as one far from the Father or as one basking in His love.

As God sees your heart, man sees the outside. Yes! God is most important person to please and man should also be considered because being obedient to God also involves living peaceably with men. So please do not call for offence deliberately with your dressing, but beyond the physical go for God’s pleasure in you.

I like to think myself as royalty when I dress, not because my name speaks royalty but because I bask in the love of the King of Kings who has made me his child and in his likeness. So how does royalty dress? They do dress in a way that speaks about who they really are, where there are from and what they do?

If you are assured of your person and position in Christ I believe this should guide your style. Are you dressed like a love child of a love God? Are you dressed like it is in Christ you walk, live and have your being? Are you dressed like you are born of God and do overcome the world?

I’m not here to give advice on the unnecessary details of your style, but I’d just say that you be honest and be sure God is pleased with you because it does reflect to the outside. Let Christ be the core of your lifestyle.

My name is Adeyinka Adefemi, beyond my father’s name I would like to be known as Adeyinka Omooba well that’s because I’m the child of the most high King, I’m heavenly royalty and my name says I’m encompassed with His royalty. Nice meeting you too, so until next time I’d take a cue from my elder brother and say “Stay Beautiful”.

Live And Learn

On Saturday, I attended the wedding of a couple that graduated from my school and fellowship, seeing faces, greeting, and catching up with alumni and present members of my fellowship, also meeting new alumnus. Well, it was like a reunion and that’s how it is in the circles I had in school, we share the love very well.

Okay! So one of my friends who finished the same session I did was catching up and asked how life after school was.

“It’s a learning process” I replied “It’s like another school and I bet it so much more fun learning this way than in the ‘four walls’.”

I did not rehearse what I’d say if I was asked that question, in fact I was not expecting to answer any question of the like. My answer humbled me and since then I kept pondering on it and knew I had to write a blog post about it.

I really love to learn but I really hate the pressure of school too. I wouldn’t say I’m book smart at all, I do not have a competitive strength I’d rather do what I can, I’d rather just let what’s within flow. I really hate to struggle to succeed when I do, I rarely succeed, when I put extra effort I don’t see the difference to no effort at all. So in the four walls I’ve had the highs and lows (I think the lows were predominant). I’ve had moments when I ruled and was undisputed, also had moments when I was with the band wagon and anonymous. I really hate reading just to pass, but the system I found myself in doesn’t really work that way so I have to read to pass instead of learn. Through my numerous failures and my few moments of success and fame, I have learnt. I have learnt best in an environment that does not restrain my mind and its power.

Right from those I watched graduate from primary school, valedictory had always emphasized ‘facing the outside world’ and painted it evil and grim to be feared, and everyone in it was a suspect (I’m too sure you don’t agree). Someone who addressed us while I was still an undergraduate mentioned that there was no real world outside there, because the buildings are not built upside down, so we shouldn’t live with the mindset that things are totally different when we leave school and make it an excuse for not cultivating the right habits.

Learning in life’s institution of learning is NOW, because you are in a continuous process of existence and that’s why you are a ‘being’. Learning is progressive because life is. You may have to retake some classes but staying on the same spot without a single change would mean death because the only things that are stagnant are dead things. Plants don’t move but they grow up and wide.

One of my spiritual prowess teachers in secondary school always emphasized that the examination of life has no time table and it stuck in my heart.

Life is a learning institution that presents things to us to teach us to be prepared, because it does not herald its tests season, order of subjects or even area of concentration. Your will is the pen used to write the answer (which is your decision) to life’s questions and the consequences you get tell of your performance.

So I’m learning, trying to pay attention to what life brings my way, sorting out what to keep and what to discard. Acquiring new things and improving old ones. I want to have fun learning from life whether times are good, bad, happy, or sad, I choose to live and I choose to learn.