REALITY CHECK #24 - THE CONTAGIOUS CANCER AFFECTING CHILDREN

Traditionally, we have been brought up to think that verbal abuse helps to put a child's behavior in check and helps them to correct themselves. I think this is mostly found in the Yoruba culture, I've heard Yoruba mothers say so. I observe mothers say unspeakable things to their children in the name of correction. Please

stop it! A mouth that spits evil reveals the evil abiding in the host and will breed evil mouthed offspring. Adults are the ones with the problem, the cancer they pass on to children with every seed of verbal abuse they plant in children. 

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There's totally creative ability in your tongue, because the mind is very suggestive when you call a child a stubborn goat for something that his young and developing brain is to blame, you are telling the child to be a stubborn goat. So the child would obey or you may continually see the behavior of a goat instead of the child's. We have to be very cautious and handle children's inadequacies with maturity, don't let it get to you. If you have to start name calling then it has gotten to you. And most times we don't get to verbally abuse a child just once, once you pop, you almost can't stop. You would keep doing this, till it is instilled on the child's subconscious 

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Sometimes we think when children are able to walk, talk and do a few other things themselves, their brains are developed enough to think, recall, observe and decipher things like adults can. No! Not yet. The brain actually takes longer to reach maturity than you think. Remember when you thought that the moon was stalking you, swallowing a seed would make a tree grow on your inside, and that rain drops were in a sprint competition? That's right! You barely remember, but that's the way it is with them now. 

Verbal abuse is always a negative reinforcement, it creates a weak link to learning the desired behavior. Give positive reinforcement to a child instead, by understanding and positively appraising, forgiving, focusing on good behavior and encouraging, trusting them. You would be filling them with good stuff and they know how to appreciate that.

Live. Learn. Love